I’m trying to find a word to help me navigate these times in 2019. Something having to do with cycles… Being like the moon or like water… Working hard at high tide? Still figuring it out.
I’m trying a new thing with my writing. Usually my process is Read > Take Notes > Concept Map > Outline > Write, the whole paper at once. But right now I’m trying a thing where it’s Read > Take Notes > Quick Outline > Write for just a small chunk of the paper and I’m really liking it.
I’ve probably read that this was a good way to write in a million places, but I can’t identify any of them right now.
There are lots of gaps, but I wouldn’t even know those gaps were there before I started writing, so there we are. If you’ve been struggling, maybe try this more cyclical writing process.
Three friends with different backgrounds participated in online text therapy sessions from January to April 2018. Friends With Secrets captures a slice of their lives — the good, the bad, the heartbreaking — and how they try to process the world around them. The sessions have been refined. The identities of the therapists have been protected.
Just read all of Friends with Secrets and cried and I think there’s a lot of journaling in my future?
Him: Challenge accepted!
- do my taxes
- do laundry
- furnish a kitchen
- write a resume
- succeed in a job interview
- open a bank account
- declutter & organize
- quit a job
- write a cover letter
- open a retirement account
- write thank you notes (though of course I don’t as often as baby boomers and their parents would like)
- buy a house
- get a new car insurance policy
- start a new job
- make coffee (three different ways!)
- meal plan
- party plan
- host a party
- manage a pregnancy
- care for a child (including feeding, changing, bathing, clothing, entertaining)
- choose a doctor
- enroll in health insurance
- use a library
- send mail
- take out a loan
- repay a loan
- use public transportation
- use a slow cooker
- unclog a toilet (including using a toilet snake/auger!)
And this is just a small sampling, based on the How to Adult video channel! I can also:
- take my own measurements
- purchase clothes that fit and make me feel confident
- get a mortgage
- connect utilities
- pay bills
- buy a car
- make tea (in a bag or loose leaf!)
- assert myself in interactions with a doctor
- replace the items from a stolen wallet
- put gas in a car
- buy a plane ticket
- navigate an airport
- use a pressure cooker
- use a microwave
- use a toaster oven
- use an oven
- handwash dishes
- load and run a dishwasher
And of course there are many more things I can do!
Probably we each need to cut ourselves a break sometimes and recognize how awesome we are and all the stuff we can do.
I had a feeling this morning that I needed to revisit Zen Habits and it turned out that I did, for this article.
There's a whole cottage industry devoted to teaching Millennials basic life skills. Are young adults that hapless, or is being a grown-up really harder now?
Pocket suggests things for me to read, and a few weeks ago, it suggested I read this piece about adulting. As I lay in bed, my toddler sleeping peacefully beside me, I thought, “I really need adulting help.” Which in one sense is ridiculous, because I have been doing some adulting basics, like holding a steady job, or paying rent or utilities, for almost 18 years. My adult self is, in fact, an adult.
But then I look at my immensely dirty car, or think about the extreme level of disrepair my home has fallen into over the past six years of home ownership, or remember that W. is the one who does the laundry and the dishes and the cleaning and the yardwork and I think…
Yeah. I could use some help.
I had a revelation a couple weeks ago while driving and noticing that my windshield wipers need to be replaced. I’m really good at projects. In one sense, it’s completely correct that my personal brand could be KIMBERLY: SHE GETS THE JOB DONE. If the job has a clear objective and a defined endpoint. I can manage human and material resources to make magic happen.
If, on the other hand, the job is a repetitive task directed at maintenance that will need to be done over and over again (like laundry or dishes or toothbrushing), then I’ll have to work harder to create a system to make sure it happens.
I’m trying to figure out what those systems look like.
Maybe acknowledging that all of life is a process of incrementally improving and coming up with ways to hack your brain is the real adulting.