The world is like “Why are comedians depressed and anxious?” and “Why are academics depressed and anxious?” and “Why are moms depressed and anxious?” But I was depressed and anxious before I did comedy or went to grad school or had a kid. So do those things draw depressed and anxious people? Do they make people depressed and anxious? Or is everyone depressed and anxious?

Today my doctor pointed out that after gestating a child for 9 months and nursing him for 33 months, I should give my hormones longer than 3 months to figure out their next move.
On my commute this morning I was pondering further whether I’m a Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Since we know the Sorting Hat takes wishes into account, I thought, “Well, which would I tell the Sorting Hat to put me in?” Then I thought, “I don’t want to be in the same house as people like Crabbe and Goyle, so, Ravenclaw.” Then I thought, “Yes, Ravenclaw people will be more fun to spend time with at Hogwarts.” Then I thought, “But what will knowing Ravenclaw people get me after I leave Hogwarts?” And the fact that I asked that question, well… BETTER BE SLYTHERIN.