Flat surface space is at a premium with a toddler running around, but I turned my dresser top into an altar focused on being the kind of mother I want to be. The cloth is a hand-crocheted nursing wrap that I never used for nursing, but stitched during the long wait for M., years before he was conceived. My desire for him and for motherhood are channeled into every stitch. There’s @bakaraw’s #wtfistarot, of course, and my Tarot of Cats deck. The cats help me feel closer to the memory of W’s cat, who left us in June. The mermaid and baby picture was in the delivery room as I went through my long cave-labor with M. The cards tucked into the mirror are Bast and Aphrodite, fierce and soft moms. (Venus Genetrix has been my favorite aspect of Aphrodite since I played her in the 10 Minute Aeneid my sophomore year of high school.) There’s a stuffed manatee, bringing in my patronus and the nature of manatee moms, and a pomegranate candle, as a reminder of my maiden season, which stretched longer than I ever expected it would but gave me many gifts.
******* This space is sure to be covered in dirty tissues, hair elastics, and half-empty seltzer cans in a matter of days, but for now it’s #magiceverydamnday.
Today’s #dailytarot draw: Judgment. Card from the Tarot of Pagan Cats. Text from #wtfistarot by @bakaraw.

This cat has a beautiful home and all the tools he needs to do his work. He is secure on this balcony, but is looking beyond it. If he chooses to leap, he will be fine: cats’ bodies can actually turn into little parachutes. If he chooses to stay, he will be fine. He is connected to the divine in himself, as represented by the cat in the stars.

The night that my dear friend @folio_ninja told me he was moving away, I did a simple, three card past-present-future reading with the question, “What’s going to happen to our friendship?” Judgment was the card in the present slot, and I interpreted it at that time to mean that, at present, we had both sort of come into full maturity with the friendship, and we were both ready for the next thing.

A month later, another friend contacted me, asking for help picking out a quote to have illustrated as a going-away gift for @folio_ninja. I remembered a beautiful note he had given someone else at an improv practice: “Trust that you can go bigger.” His sister presented him with that quote, illustrated and signed by many of his friends, on stage at his last improv show here. The friend who had contacted me explained to the audience that the quote was @folio_ninja’s own note. He said, “Kimberly picked it out.” Eyes shimmering with tears, @folio_ninja answered, “I know.” Today, I’m planning to book the hotel for my first visit to @folio_ninja in his new/old home.

Let’s all trust that we can go bigger. We are #magiceverydamnday.

I have pulled the two of wands twice this week. From #wtfistarot by @bakaraw “In this card, we may feel energized by another person, and it can speak to a meaningful but short-lived connection. Maybe it is a twin flame, but not a soul mate.” The other night I did a three card spread (past/present/future) and it came up The Hermit/Judgment/Nine of Swords. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings. As always. I’ve also drawn a lot of letting go cards in my daily this week. I GET THE MEMO, UNIVERSE.
Yesterday’s #dailytarot pull: the two of wands, Tarot of Pagan Cats. I pulled this yesterday & re-read the description from #wtfistarot & @bakaraw: "Let’s Do the Damn Thing." (p. 79) "Okay, but what IS the thing?" I thought. To me, this cat looks like she’s ready to do the thing but is looking out across the water, waiting for the cat who will partner with her to arrive. I didn’t know what the thing was. Later, I got a tweet from a Master’s student about how the Coalition of Youth Librarians wanted to partner with me on starting a local chapter of The Harry Potter Alliance (@thehpalliance). At first, I said, "It’s too much for me right now." I had an email from HPA in my inbox responding to my filling out the chapter form, but I’d snoozed it until January. Then, as I was listening to the @dreamfreedombeauty intro episode & they were talking about what manifestation feels like and following a feeling, I thought about how I had literal physical chills during the HPA presentation at #AASL17. I thought about the tweet. I thought about how sure, running a chapter is too much for me alone, but maybe not too much in partnership with others who want to do it anyway (rather than friends I might have invited who weren’t as committed). I thought about how the two of wands "encourages fearlessness in our decisions." I thought, "You know what? Let’s do the damn thing." So COYL will discuss it at their next meeting, then I’ll meet with those of them who want to do it, and then we’ll really get started in January.
#dailytarot single card pull: The Knight of Chalices (Son of Cups),Tarot of Pagan Cats. It seems right that for my first pull, I pulled the card that when reading #wtfistarot I thought, "Yes, that is me." @bakaraw calls this the Art Bro. It’s a uniting of masculine & feminine energy (very me) in someone who is creative, but has found ways to use that creativity within a structure and turned it to profit. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the role of creativity in academic writing and just finished writing my most personal and creative piece of academic writing to date last night. When I look at this cat, I see somebody who isn’t completely out of touch with the waters of emotions, but who has harnessed tools that help keep her dry. Her steed carries her deliberately, and is a steed that does thrive in the water. She is in touch with emotions and intuition, but not drenched or drowning. The message I take from pulling this card today is that I should be me 100%.
“In the Fool, we say yes to the universe; in the Magician, the universe says yes back to us.” Thinking w gratitude on the times I was the Fool & of the people who were the Magician. #wtfistarot
Self-care: reading #wtfistarot at the chiropractor during my therapy. I have been looking for something that is the opposite of grad school, and this is it. Intuition, not empirical. Exactly what I need to balance my work.