I fell into a new COVID-19 spiral today. This went beyond anxiety and felt closer to depression. The world started to take on that bell jar feeling. For me, it’s not about being suffocated; it’s about distance. It’s about feeling as if there is an impenetrable plate of glass between me and the rest of the world.

I immediately unsubscribed from my email newsletters that are about the actual news, because what set this off was not fear for my own life or the lives of those I love, but disgust with the behavior of humans, especially those with a lot of power. I don’t care to go into the details, but it launched me into a feeling of hopelessness and I thought, I won’t be able to fight back against this sort of thing if I just keep steeping myself in news about it. So as I said, I unsubscribed and appointed W. my official news source.

I’m attempting to combat the feeling by sitting in the sunshine and reading The Artist’s Way.

Nobody has time for depression that they have the power to push away; so often depression itself takes away that power. Mine hasn’t taken it away yet, so here I am trying to shake it off.