In How to Tell When We Will Die, Johanna Hedva writes about how they are going to be in pain no matter what, so they choose to go out and have experiences that might cause them more, because they can’t avoid pain. I thought I wasn’t like that, but lying here in pain after spending the day at the zoo with my kid, I realize that’s where I make this choice. I do stuff with my kid even if it will cause me pain, because pain will come anyway. It’s just a matter of degree.