Why Do I Have to Choose Between Being a Writer and Being a Mother?

We need narratives about women artists that don?t position family and craft as mutually exclusive

electricliterature.com

I read this piece today and felt inspired, so I’m curating a monthly newsletter about creative mothers.

I could learn to repair drywall and fix sinking bathroom tile but for now I’m just going to believe handypeople are magic.

Just submitted my first draft of my first chapter of my comps lit review to my committee for feedback, so it’s probably time for another high five.

You can tell I’m approaching middle age because I think of my car as my new car and I just got an email from CarMax saying I bought it 5 years ago today.

I found this Man Repeller post via  the Holisticism newsletter. (One of my favorite reads every week.) It captures one of the important ideas I’ve been working with for several weeks now.

As I was trying to settle on a word for 2019, I went looking to a couple of oracle decks for inspiration: Lucy Cavendish’s Oracle of the Mermaids and Oracle of the Dragonfae. I didn’t find my word there, but I did pull one card from each deck that caught my eye and seemed like it captured some energy I wanted to live in 2019.

From the Oracle of the Mermaids, Sanctuary:

and from the Oracle of the Dragonfae, Melusine:

I didn’t know until I read the card descriptions in the deck guidebooks that Melusine is actually the mermaid depicted in Sanctuary. So I chose Melusine twice.

Who is Melusine?

If you’re big into mermaid mythology, you know her already. And even if you aren’t, you probably do, because this is her, too:

You can read her legend at Wikipedia if you want. But here are the two things I’m taking away from Melusine:

1. That I do need to enforce more boundaries. I'm lucky to have a lot of family support, so I do get a fair amount of me-time as compared with most moms of young children, but I don't use it wisely and I want to start doing that.
2. That I need to really lean into being myself. In any version of the story, Melusine and her loved ones face the consequences of keeping a part of yourself hidden as well as of not respecting boundaries. Enforcing boundaries and being yourself can be balanced, and I want to work on that balance.

Submitted a solo-authored manuscript today, so in true millennial fashion, I feel like I deserve many high fives.

I’m lucky: they gave me a canonical #spidersona, trying to figure out how to make a better world for her kid while dealing with the daily tasks of early parenthood.

Have now escaped 100% of @bullcityescape's rooms. And we'll be back when they make new ones!

I’m here for improv in libraries AND I recommend checking out FairPlayMN’s documents on levels of intimacy & boundary check-ins as part of your programming prep. Understanding that the first thing you have to YES AND is the fundamental dignity of your scene partner is crucial.

Writing music and reading music are different music. My writing music is video game or film scores. My reading music is chill beats, piano, quiet instrumental stuff. What about you? What’s your writing music? What’s your reading music?