Everybody writes about being the mother of a baby. But what about being the mother of a big kid? You are this new version of yourself, integrated with the old, out of the early fog, free of the strange combination of portentousness and tedium. But you are still postpartum, you are eternally postpartum. You matresced, you are no longer becoming a mother but you are a mother. What is unique at this stage? Are you still annihilated? Is your life still kintsugi? Do you live in fragments? I think yes, but the fragments are bigger now. You have more time for yourself but you remain available, vulnerable, to interruption at any moment. You still steal your moments for self from sleep. The quiet of the sleeping house is still a precious time.