Posts in "Long Posts"

Maybe not 50K words of literally anything...

It turns out giving yourself credit for everything you write is actually really challenging because you have to pull it all together somewhere, and sometimes you lose track of the last thing you counted.

It’s far too early to give up on NaNoWriMo.

But have y’all noticed that November is a really hard time to write in the Northern hemisphere? There’s the time change. The lack of light because of it. If you’re in the US, Thanksgiving eats up fully 5 days it feels like. (That’s 17% of your writing time!) At least it does in my family.

It’s just a brutal time!

This is why I like Camp NaNoWriMo. Especially July. July, if you work in education and can afford to send your kid to camp, is a great time to write.

Anyway. I’m not giving up on NaNo but I’m also not trying to do word counts on all my texts.

The only time I won NaNo, I wrote 25K words on November 30.

I’ve won Camp NaNo a few times with smaller goals.

I do want to write. I don’t know what a good writing goal, process, or practice looks like for me. Maybe I’ll take the rest of this month to figure it out.

NaNoWriMo pivot: Back to 50,000 words of literally anything at all

Hello friends!

It’s been slow-going working on my TNG fanfic. Early in October, I toyed with the idea of being a NaNo Rebel with the goal of writing 50,000 words of literally anything at all. At the time, I meant fanfic, original fic, and academic writing.

But at 4 AM this morning, I decided to return to that, with a much more expansive definition of “literally anything at all.”

Here are the things I’ve added to my word count so far:

  • Blog posts (including short notes)
  • Emails
  • Texts
  • Slack messages
  • Meeting agendas
  • Comments on other people’s documents
  • Forum posts

And once I log back into social media tomorrow (I’m posting this via micropub), I’m going to add replies and quote tweets.

Why am I being so generous to myself with this definition?

A lot of the time, I use a goal like NaNoWriMo to prove to myself that I “can* write.

But lately, I’ve felt not that I have writer’s block, exactly, but that I’m just at a moment in life when writing is beyond my current capacity, that I just don’t have the bandwidth to write at present.

So I’m using this expansive definition to prove to myself that I do write, that I an writing, even when I feel like I can’t.

How’s NaNo going for you? Can you find a way to be more generous with yourself this month?

📚🍳Marinated Beans with Crunchy Veggies from I Dream of Dinner (So You Don't Have To)

Cooking is really hard with chronic illness, because both pain and fatigue reduce your options for homemade food that won’t eat up all your energy for the day.

When Suzanne Scott mentioned the cookbook I Dream of Dinner (So You Don’t Have To) at the Fan Cultures/Food Cultures session at FSN North America, citing the ease of prepping its recipes when you’re exhausted, I immediately put it on hold at the library.

I picked it up over the weekend. Today I made my first recipe in it: Marinated Beans with Crunchy Veggies. TL; DR: It’s tasty and I still had energy left after making it.

The cookbook I Dream of Dinner So You Don't Have To opened to the page of Marinated Beans with Crunchy Veggies

Right away the book delighted me by including all prep work in the written instructions rather than ingredients. Author Ali Slagle doesn’t say “Fresh shallot, finely chopped” in the ingredients list. Instead, it’s the first step in the recipe. Slagle also encourages substitutions.

I modified the recipe a bit to make it even friendlier for my chronically-ill self. Here are some photos with explanations.

The first change is that I subbed garlic powder in for chopped shallot. Target didn’t have shallots and I didn’t want to go to another store. Plus, I already had garlic powder on hand.

A container of garlic powder

The second change is that I used canned diced green chiles instead of chopped fresh chile. I’m a spice wimp and once again Target had limited selection.

A can of diced mild green chiles sits next to a plastic food storage container with garlic powder in it

I then followed the recipe as written, using canned black beans, salt and pepper, red wine vinegar, and olive oil.

Slagle suggests chopping and adding veggies right before serving but I wanted to do that in advance, so I sliced celery and cucumber and stored them in a Mason jar to keep them crisp until serving time. They’ll only keep in the fridge for 3 or 4 days, but so will the beans.

Celery and cucumber on a cutting board before slicing Sliced celery and cucumber in a small-mouth 32 oz Mason jar

When it was time for lunch, I spooned a quarter of the beans into a bowl, then pulled some celery and cucumber out of the jar and stirred it all together. It was a lovely, easy lunch.

The finished meal: Marinated Beans with Crunchy Veggies

(The real star of this photo is my beautiful new kitchen counter.)

How to Scholar(?)

In my doctoral program, there was a class that we colloquially referred to as “babydocs.” As it was taught the year I took it, the purpose of babydocs was two-fold: 1. to introduce us to the field of library and information science and the variety of potential research areas and 2. to introduce us to the skills a person needs to be a scholar.

It’s been over seven years since I started babydocs and I’m still trying to get that “how to be a scholar” part down. Here are the topics and skills babydocs covered in this vein:

  • Theory and methods
  • Literature reviews
    • searching for literature
    • reading other people’s literature reviews
    • managing literature
    • writing literature reviews
  • Peer review
  • Project management
  • Research ethics
  • Diversity, equity, and inclusion
  • Presenting orally
  • Empirical research methods
  • Collaborative & interdisciplinary work
  • Creating posters
  • Writing research proposals
  • Grants and funding
  • Data management
  • Writing referred papers
  • Metrics

This was a two-semester course and that was only HALF of what we covered, with the other half being specific to our discipline.

I know how to do all of the things on this list, but I still haven’t created a cohesive framework or workflow that lets me do them in any but the most just-in-time manner. But a just-in-time scholar isn’t really the kind of scholar I want to be.

(And I do want to be a scholar, even though I’m not interested in tenure-track work.)

I share all of this because I’m going to try, all these years later, to create such a framework. Something that wasn’t part of babydocs.

I plan to blog about it and I thought y’all might like to follow along.

#FSNNA 22 Roundtable: Materiality & Liveness

Paul_Lucas:

Welcoming everyone to the session "Materiality & Liveness"

Talking about WWE and the impact of it being termed an "essential business" during COVID shutdowns

Professional wrestling bridges the gap between sports & entertainment

When both entertainment & sports were shut down, WWE was still available with both athletics and storytelling and thus the potential to appeal to fans of both sports and media.

Lucas's argument: WWE didn't have live audiences during shutdown like they usually do. They had to have a national audience to stay open for working, but only at facilities closed to the public.

WWE met both criteria when most other sports couldn't.

WWE moved toward "cinematic matches" - "like an extended version of a video game cutscene" - wrestlers in story-specific environment with editing, effects, and supernatural elements.

Matt Griffin:

Playful Nostalgia: (Re)creating Video Game Spaces as Mods

Nostalgia for 3D platformer video games from the late 90s/early 00s like Super Mario 64, Sonic Adventure. Newer games are emulating (but not, y'know, ~emulating~) the older games.

Marketing and branding include a pitch toward nostalgia: "It's just like N64" "It's just like the Gamecube"

How do players take up this nostalgia themselves? For example, players create environments from old games in newer video games - e.g. creating an area from Super Mario Sunshine in A Hat in Time

We aren't limited to a single mod, so you could play in A Hat in Time, a Sonic Adventure level, with Sora from Kingdom Hearts as your player, riding a Kart from Mario Kart Double Dash.

Factors that influence textual meaning: paratexts, plays, fan-made histories, "mods as simulacra"

"Player-made mods construct nostalgia through remediation and play"

Emma ✨:

Talking about authorship in TRPGs (!!! calling @theroguesenna & @friede)

Looking at changes in D&D and other TRPGs related to race.

Summer 2021 was the #SummerofAabria when Abria Iyengar was guest DM on multiple actual play shows

AP has often been associated with the creation of a single DM but when Iyengar's work raised the question: how does authorship change when you have a guest DM? Who has authority?

Now notions of canonicity are taking root in actual play. How do TRPGs exist as both a transformative and an original work?

DMs like Iyengar can use their work to critique traditional depictions in fantasy.

Dylan McGee:

The cultural afterlife of plastic toys and how they're curated and collected online now

Fans have to make consequential decisions about material objects (collectable toys) based on digital images

"attachments and affects can be complicated when realizing that what arrived in your mailbox was not exactly what you bought online"

Buyers read the materiality through images: What quality is the plastic? How much has it been damaged? Is it authentic? Is the blister packaging still attached?

During COVID, there's been a boom in the fan economy of vintage collecting.

A lot of collectors have liquidated their collections because they didn't have enough income during COVID.

The Japanese Yen to the dollar is at a 32 year low, so lots of Japanese collectors are liquidating them and selling to buyers overseas (mostly in America).

These collectors then only have immaterial access to their collections - images and memories.

Matt Griffin:

There are important distinctions between player-made mods and official re-releases. There's more freedom to mix-and-match. Legality is an interesting question. Mods aren't strict emulations (in the code sense).

Court case in 2016 found you can't copyright ALL of a game. For example, you can't copyright game mechanics. Player-made mods do give players a sense of ownership.

People get introduced to older "texts" (video games) through these mods - e.g. you play an area in A Hat in Time, and decide to then go explore the game it's originally from.

Reproducing a cartridge like Limited Run games does introduces a new materiality that's different from mods. The gatekeepers are different: purchase vs. download from fansite.

Emma ✨:

Players of D&D often have a strong intertextual awareness before they even sit down at the table, usually have engaged deeply with fantasy through literature, film, video games.

There's often either a dissatisfaction with or true love of fantasy media that the player brings to the table and uses as inspiration for their character.

If the rules are dissatisfying/frustrating (e.g. I want to play as a dark elf and it's wrong of the rules to penalize me for that), this is where homebrew comes in. This leads to players & DMs bring worldview to the game.

based on personal experience, "play seems to become more valued as you have less recreational time." When work happens at home during lockdown, it can feel like all of life is work so

Additionally, the interpersonal aspect adds extra value. For example, RPing just hanging out in a pub became a fantasy it was valuable to play out.

Rules can give real-world obstacles a clear stat block and make it possible to fight these things in a really satisfying way.

Dylan McGee:

Unlicensed toys also became part of the market and are often more highly valued by collectors than official, licensed ones.

#FSNNA22 Keynote: Turn On, Tune In, Get Out: Rethinking Escapism and Domestic Spectatorship

Caetlin Benson-Allott:

Beginning Turn On, Tune In, Get Out: Rethinking Escapism and Domestic Spectatorship

articulates the need for a theory of escapism, specifically as respite

has never felt the need to get out more than the past few years but where is there to go?

Theory: escapism as a spectatorial mode, one way viewers interpolate cultural objects

"Escapism is a desire that viewers bring to media irrespective of its genre, spectacle, exhibition context, or reception culture"

Viewers bring escapism, not vice versa.

Critics call things "escapist" when they think media's artistic merit doesn't align with its popularity

Escapism is frequently deployed in reference to media that has large fan communities

Historicizing the term "escapist," which was coined in the 1930s. (Benson-Allott is including a lot of detail so look out for her book on this topic later.)

"Escapism" is used both to argue that art should uphold morals AND that art doesn't need to engage with contemporary issues.

"Escapist" is used by critics to indicate a disconnect between a piece of art and themselves.

Previous work (by only 2 scholars) looks at escapism and whose pleasure is marginalized.

Others have focused on genre but not looked at how or why viewers engage in escapism.

As a viewer's sensibility changes, the viewer needs different escape.

If different types of movies can provide escape in a shared geocultural moment, then escapism can't be located in a particular piece of media or genre.

Escape from what? Not necessarily about a change of locale. "If it were, all fantasy films would supply escape to all viewers."

"Escape may be hard to achieve, but it is not site-specific."

Dr. Kimberly Hirsh at #FSNNA22:

Lots of talk here about how what we're escaping is being ourselves, which makes me think about the Daniel Tiger song: "You can change your hair or what you wear but no matter what you do, you're still you."

Caetlin Benson-Allott:

"Because pleasure is a process, it represents an escap-ing, rather than an escape."

"It cannot be an end, because it ends."

We can find escapism in media that acknowledges inequity and injustice.

"Desiring escape is not the same as desiring oblivion or obliviousness..."

Dr. Kimberly Hirsh at #FSNNA22:

Seriously this work is super rich and I can't possibly capture it all in a Twitter thread.

Caetlin Benson-Allott:

Escape as ex-cendance: getting out so you can go back

#FSNNA22 Live Blog: Fandom During/After Covid

Olivia Johnston-Riley:

Next session: Fandom During/After COVID

Norbert Nyari:

“Reaching Fans Through Deeper Interaction: The Case of Concerts Through Games and Interactive Spaces”

4 cases of concerts in games and interactive spaces: Fortnite is mostly a business approach.

Norbert Nyari:

Case 2: Adventure Quest 3D: Fan connection through gameplay

Porter Robinson: Secret Spy more about connecting fans through virtual spaces, chat, avatars, VR

Case 4: Concerts organized by Wave. Real-time motion capture. Trying to create interaction between artist and fans.

Key takeaways: new ways for fans to connect, artists found new ways to interact. "What is the impact of the fan persona?"

Eva Liu:

Talking about how stage musicals in China are thriving while Broadway is not - uses the closing of Phantom of the Opera on Broadway as an example.

First key to success is the introduction of the immersive theater genre. Special environments and audience participation.

Immersive theater's smaller audience size is good during pandemic

2nd key: Embracing idol fandom. Free drawing for idol performer cards. Exploiting fan labor for marketing.

Fan-made souvenirs, fan photography.

Key #3: Let's queer the theatres. All-male cast, cross-dressing, queer-baiting. These all appeal to female gaze. ([@KimberlyHirsh](https://micro.blog/KimberlyHirsh): How is Takarazuka doing? Could be a cool transnational study.)

"the pleasure obtained from face-to-face interaction is irreplaceable"

All previous Eva Liu tweets are from @EvaLiu1996

Olivia Johnston-Riley:

“Podficcing in the Pandemic” Key terms: Accessibility, Identity, Experience, Creating, Consuming, Socializing

Podfic is fanfiction recorded aloud and shared as audiopods online. Some people never thought of it as accessible while other people, esp with print disability, used it. ([@KimberlyHirsh](https://micro.blog/KimberlyHirsh): like fanfiction audiobooks)

Some fans used time they would otherwise have gone out to socialize to record podfic. Others experienced trauma and/or just felt pandemic didn't give them more time to create.

Listening to human voices made people feel less alone, but people who lost their commute or had more other people at home listened to less podfic.

Podfic community was an important social activity for some participants.

Qing Xiao:

“‘Are We Friends or Opponents?’ Fans’ Relationship Changes from Online To Offline” with Yuhang Zheng

In idol fans pre-COVID there was a hierarchy where offline fans were considered "core fans" and online fans were more peripheral, but as idols moved activities online during COVID-19, this dynamic changed.

More affordable to attend signings, don't have to navigate physical distance

Change of fan space made it more equitable, less hierarchical. Will the old patterns resurface? How do these patterns work in fandoms surrounding fictional works/characters?

Julian Hofmann:

with Dina Rasolofoarison: “Where Is roundtables Fandom Acted Out in 2022? An Update on Places of Fan Practices”

inclusive definition of fandom - not just cult media, but specific nations/cultures, cooking, and more

2 dimensions of places: 1. places have functions, 2. places of substitute consumption - driven by restrictions of time, money, or place

Dr. Kimberly Hirsh at #FSNNA22:

There's lots of great conversation happening in this session but I got distracted and am a little overwhelmed, sorry.

Eva Liu:

Eva talked about my question about Takarazuka, pointing out that while Takarazuka (Japanese all-women musical theater) has a strict division between otokoyaku (performers who always play men) and musumeyaku (performers who always play women) 1/2

...Chinese and South Korean immersive theaters that feature all-male casts might have a performer play a man in one production and a woman in another.

#FSNNA2022 Live Blog: The New Bedroom Cultures

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

introducing the panel "The New Bedroom Cultures"

Elise Sandbach:

“The Growth of Fangirls and Fanfiction During the COVID-19 Lockdown” "A bit of an accidental autoethnographic activity"

Dissertation focused on Harley Quinn and her relationship with her fangirls. Argued that Harley moved from sexualized object of the male gaze to reclaimed character, and credits fanfiction with this move.

Interested in the transition of fans from producers to consumers.

Fell down a fanfiction rabbithole on TikTok.

Sociology theory about bedroom culture highlights bedroom as a sacred space for adolescent girls, originally considered bedroom as consumer space but more recent scholarship argues that bedroom culture includes production

The transition from consumer to producer was pressurized during lockdown, which led to a boom of fan engagement.

LĂŠa Andolfi:

Discusses fannish bedroom cultures during the lockdown, fanfiction as a bedroom ritual. Presentation draws on interviews conducted during Master's.

Title of talk is “A Fandom of One’s Own: Fanfiction as a Bedroom Ritual During COVID-19”

Fanfiction is defined by intimacy, both in its topics and in the spaces it exists in.

Participants could personalize emotion via tags: hurt/comfort, enemies-to-loves, fluff...

"reception on a loop" You experience the original media, seek out fan-created media, engage in fan practices regularly, which drives you to seek out the next piece of new media.

Reading fanfiction is a personal ritual, "alone time"

Socialization in digital spaces allowed fans to maintain kinship and community.

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

notes that @andolfi_lea mentioned parasocial relationships which probably all of them have something to say about

Dr. Welsh-Burke's talk is “‘I Am on My KNEES’: TikTok as a New Site of Adolescent Sexual Desire”

looking at experience of female fans as producers and fans

Noticed enthusiastic display of sexual desire in caption of fan vid on TikTok, liked it and started to get more recs for things where people have "extreme affective responses"

This content on TikTok was a positive reclamation of the stereotype of fangirls as only interested in certain topics (e.g. sexy topics)

TikTok is an especially bedroom-y media space in terms of both creation and consumption.

DeanLeetal:

presenting “Bedroom Cultures but Make It Enby Cottage Core: Reading Shakespeare as a Disabled Trans Fan”

warning: going to discuss bigotry, esp. transphobia, and safety

Discussing reading Shakespeare's "As You Like It" as a trans text. Rosalind & Celia live a queer-utopian cottagecore life in the Forest of Arden.

IRL when marginalized people meet each other it's not always self. There's bigotry related to different combos of marginalization.

In The Forest of Arden, it feels as if everyone is safe.

"If all those queer people running around in the forest are the monsters, then we have nothing to fear. Everyone is safe."

In the Forest of Arden, "everyone is always possibly polyamorous." It's bittersweet to contrast this with spaces in real life.

This contrast is more pronounced when the person doing the looking/reading is trans & disabled.

Anecdote about harassment at a coffee shop that ended with Dean feeling the owners of the shop would blame Dean for being a magnet for harassment if a similar incident happened again.

The "depressing, gray" bedroom experience is attractive because there aren't a lot of people that can harass you there.

There's an interesting relationship between trans' people's experience of being expected not to even exist outside and these fantasies of the cottagecore forest (and other safe spaces) inside.

Elise Sandbach:

In some fandoms, e.g. superhero and Star Wars, other people in fandoms perceive the source material as "serious" and were worried fangirls would "drag it down" because fangirls are interested in "silly things"

Dr. Kimberly Hirsh at #FSNNA22:

The discussion is getting really good but I'm struggling to keep up with tweets, sorry!

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

Saw Twitter thread about how there used to be no women in nerdy spaces and, of course, there were and many people argued against OP but sadly lots of people were also agreeing.

DeanLeetal:

There's a similar phenomenon where people claim there weren't trans people in fan spaces in the past, which is patently untrue.

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

"It's interesting to think about the multiplicities of bedroom cultures that are getting made" - referring to a statement @DeanLeetal made about how different people need different forms of escape.

We need art of everyone in their own bedrooms engaging with their own bedroom cultures.

Creator of that original video on TikTok shut down their account. This leads to loss of a lot of born-digital stuff that it would be good to capture for methodology. (Come to our #FanLIS session and talk to us about born-digital preservation!)

LĂŠa Andolfi:

As fans we have to do that work of archiving. ([@KimberlyHirsh](https://micro.blog/KimberlyHirsh): shout-out to @De_Kosnik's book Rogue Archives)

It's also an ethical question - if we've preserved something, do we keep studying it even after the creator has taken it down?

Elise Sandbach:

When fanfiction is brought up to creators/actors, it's often in a degrading way.

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

There's also an issue of consent with actors, who might not want to hear about what their characters get up to in fanfiction.

In chat, Erin Lee Mock points out "For many people, COVID lockdown was not an experience of isolation, but of greater carework obligations, etc. Is there space within discussion of "bedroom cultures" for these individuals, especially as relates to fan production?"

LĂŠa Andolfi:

Talking about how even as teens, girls often have more caregiving responsibilities so in that sense bedroom cultures still works.

DeanLeetal:

Points out that home is not always a safe space, especially for multiply marginalized people.

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

Luisa de Mesquita asks "I was wondering if there are any significant differences in engagement with fandom and fannish practices between those who were already 'established' fans and those who became fans during the pandemic?"

Elise Sandbach:

speculating that it will vary - some people will have come to fandom during the pandemic and stay in it for life, but others as they are less isolated will engage with fandom less

Kirsten Crowe asks "I wonder about the experience of college aged people returning to their childhood bedrooms and how that shaped fannish experiences in terms of bedroom culture during the pandemic"

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

Yes, thanks to pandemic I finished my MSc in my childhood bedroom, will finish my PhD in childhood bedroom, doing this from childhood bedroom 😄

Elise Sandbach:

That last tweet should've been from @SandbachElise.

Dr. Nicola Welsh-Burke:

It's really interesting to return to your childhood bedroom and engage with fandom on a new platform when you engaged with fandom there years ago.

Elise Sandbach:

It's interesting to note that we're in our bedrooms studying other people in their bedrooms.

A hike at Eno River State Park

Yesterday, W, M, my sister ME, and I went for a little hike at the Eno River State Park. I’d planned a little flat loop, but we didn’t know which access to use to get to it. We ended up at the Few’s Ford access and just walked the closest trail to where we parked, which turned out to be the Buckquarter Creek Trail.

We happened upon some folks from the Eno River Association, who had set up a tent, nets and water shoes, and little bins with water in them so people could catch little water animals and learn about them. It was a beautiful serendipitous occurrence and we had nowhere to be, so we stopped to join in. M found some water striders and a snail.

After they packed up, we continued down the trail, then stopped for a break so M could play on the rocks and fallen logs. While he was doing that, a great blue heron landed a ways from us. We watched it stretch its neck down to the water, then pull its neck upright. It was huge. Eventually it flew from one side of us to the other. Its wingspan was incredible. It’s a majestic bird.

Eventually, a tree wobbled under M and he fell in the water. We didn’t have a change of clothes, so we ended our break and started walking again. We made our way to the pedestrian bridge. It was a suspension bridge, and walking across it gave me a bit of vertigo. We continued on the other side of the river, then crossed the river on rocks when I heard a family ahead of us talking about an animal on the ground. I thought it might be a snake and W hates snakes, so we went ahead and crossed.

We finished up the trail and came home for a late lunch from Domino’s.

This was a super successful adventure, so I think we’ll try a hike every weekend while the weather is favorable.

M with his net standing on some smallish rocks at the river's edgeThe great blue heron standing in the middle of the river The Eno River, a small creek that is part of the Neuse River system. forest on the other side of the river.A close-up of rocks and fallen leaves in shallow water at the edge of the river.

When my brain won't read 📚

I hate when my brain won’t read, which it won’t today. Reading is my core way of interfacing with the world. The tools we use shape our thought processes, and writing and reading have been my primary tools since I was a small child. Reading heals me, distracts me from pain, comforts me when I’m lonely, and gives me new ways of thinking.

I know this inability to turn other people’s words into things that cohere for me will pass. And I can do audiobooks some. But there’s also something about the physicality of reading that I miss when I do that. So it is a great companion to reading text, especially for times it’s not smart to focus on texts like when I’m driving or trying to fall asleep.

Maybe I’ll try reading something middle grade instead of YA or adult and see if that helps.